MY STORY
OF
GOD'S REDEEMING,
TRANSFORMING GRACE
Who is humanly
responsible for preceptaustin.org? This is a question I
have received frequently over the past 5 years, so first let me say that I
have no affiliation with any other ministry. By God's grace and the
enablement of His Spirit, humanly speaking, preceptaustin.org is a solo project.
To better help you understand what impels me to continually work on this
website,
I think it is appropriate to summarize my "life journey" or testimony to God's amazing
grace that saved a wretch like me (Amazing
Grace - Instrumental) freeing me forever to sing out these
simple but infinitely precious lyrics...
My chains are gone.
I've been set free,
My God my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy rains,
Unending love, amazing grace
Play Chris Tomlin's version - Amazing
Grace- My Chains Are Gone
The psalmist summarizes best why I (and all the
redeemed) should share how God's long arm of redemption rescued me from
darkness (Acts 26:18) and death (Ephesians 2:1-note)
(NOTE:
All underlined Scriptures will pop up the specific verse and can also be
clicked to read the passage in
context
- I would strongly encourage you to read God's Living Word which
amplifies and/or explains God's Life Giving Work in my heart and
soul)...
Let the redeemed of the LORD say so,
whom He has redeemed from trouble. (Psalm 107:2ESV-note)
Let me ask you at
the outset...have you shared your testimony of God's miracle of rebirth,
of new life, of new hope, of a certain future forever with Christ in
glory? If not, let me encourage you to first pray, asking our Father to
graciously give you an open door of opportunity (Colossians 4:3-note) and then
to embolden you to speak forth the power of "the Gospel of the
grace of
God" (Acts 20:24) in your life (cp Romans 1:16-note). There is no greater joy,
then having the opportunity to tell others what great things God has done
in your life (1Jn 1:4). See also the
Statement of Faith - What I Believe.
A
Chronology of
God's Amazing Grace,
His Supernatural Sovereignty and
His Perfect Providence
1) Born - Austin,
Texas - 1946 - My name is
Bruce Hurt. My father Wilson deserted my mother Ruth and her infant son
(yours truly), before I was one year old. My father was
an alcoholic, a gambler and a womanizer. Thus, I had my first experience
with rejection by an earthly father. I was baptized as many infants are
during this time.
2) 10 years old
-
a)
My mother remarried and one result was my second rejection by an earthly
father. The words that I most clearly remember my stepfather pronouncing on me
were...
"That boy ain't
gonna amount to anything any good."
Fathers, take heed
and practice pronouncing blessings not cursings upon your sons and
daughters. Thereafter my stepfather never called
me by my given name, "Bruce". It was always "That boy" (or at least that's
what sticks in my memory some 50 years later -- thus my encouragement to
we who are dads [and husbands] to continually beg God to set a guard over
our mouths and to let no "rotten" pronouncement be spoken over our
children... or our wife! Jas 3:8, 9, 10, Ps 141:3-note,
Ep 4:29-note) During this time we
attended a Lutheran church and I matriculated through their catechism
program and was baptized for a second time with sprinkling of water, but not yet by the
Spirit of Christ by grace through faith (Ep 2:8 9-note, Ro 6:3-note,
1Co 12:13). I was still a totally depraved, unregenerate, "young"
old man (old self)
in Adam (Ro 5:12-note,
Ps 51:5-note)
and outside of the "Ark" of Christ, without
hope and without God in the world (Ep 2:11, 12-note).
It was also during this
period of my life that I narrowly escaped death on two separate occasions
(cp Ps 23:6NLT-note, Ps 119:109NLT-note), once when a
huge semi-trailer truck was passing another car on a very narrow two lane bridge
and was in our lane headed straight at my mother (who at that time also
was as still unsaved) and myself (also not regenerate). To this day I cannot explain how we were able to
avoid what would surely have been a head on, fatal impact with that big "semi"
(cp Ps 34:7-note).
The upshot is that "I can't
but God can". This simple truth/aphorism has become one of God's most
frequent reminders of my weakness and His all sufficient grace now that I
am in Christ and even before I was safe in Christ! (2Co 12:9-note;
2Co 12:10-note). He is
infinitely,
eternally,
omnipotently
sovereign
and in His perfect
omniscience He knew before
the foundation of the world (Ep 1:4-note,
cp 2Ti 1:9NLT-note) the plan of salvation He had
laid out for both my mother and myself (cp
Ep 2:10-note).
On another occasion
I was literally drowning under the weight of water pouring through a small
opening in a dam on the Guadalupe River in central Texas, the weight of
the onrushing water being so heavy that it prevented me from standing
until someone saw my hand project out of the water and pulled me aside (cp
Ps 69:1NLT-note,
Ps 69:2NLT-note),
in effect rescuing
me from almost certain drowning (Ps 18:16-note).
My Father's provision of physical salvation beautifully foreshadowed the
spiritual salvation I would experience almost 30 years later when, at just
the right time, when I was "drowning" spiritually, God's hand reached down
(Isa 59:1, 50:2) and rescued
me from eternal death and unto eternal life (Col 1:13NLT-note;see
also word study of the great Greek verb for rescue =
rhuomai). These two recollections of
God's physical rescues from danger are some of my spiritual "Eben-ezers" so
beautifully expressed in the hymn...
Come, Thou Fount of Every Blessing
Here I raise my Ebenezer
(Eben =
Stone
+
Ezer
= help)
Here by Thy great
help
I’ve come;
And I hope, by Thy good pleasure,
Safely to arrive at home.
Jesus sought me when a stranger,
Wandering from the fold of God;
He, to rescue me from danger,
Interposed His precious blood
(1Pe 1:18, 19-note)
b)
I became very motivated to disprove my step father's "prophetic
pronouncement" and worked like a
self
"possessed" young man to perfect my skills in basketball, which (by God's
grace,
even in the face of my wrong attitude) landed me a college athletic
scholarship. No one in my family had ever graduated from college and my
mother did not have the funds to send me. So once again I experienced
God's provision of
amazing, abundant
grace,
even while I was still unregenerate and hostile to His love (Col
1:21-note)!
God was
sovereignly
at work in my life and all the while I was completely unaware of His
guiding, protecting hand.
TWO
CHANCE
OCCURRENCES
(God's Providence)
3) 20 years old -
The first "Chance" Occurrence
- My Texas basketball
abilities in college were considerably inferior to my teammates who were
from well known basketball centers like the Bronx in New York (where street ball was
something everyone did -- and they were good!) and Indiana (America's basketball
capital at the time) and so there were times when I would not even log a
minute of playing time, much less score a point. One game (one
providential game) we were
playing the Houston Cougars and I just happened (cp Ru 2:3-note
on God's providence)
to log some playing time and scored a bucket or two. Just
enough for my name to make the Houston Chronicle's score column on the
sports page the next day. Now I haven't told you, but I had not seen nor heard from
my real father since he deserted my mom in 1946 and
so I did not know whether he was dead or alive. Little did I know that in the providential working of the
omniscient God my real
father would read the Houston Chronicle the next day and see my name in
the scoring column and
ask himself "Could this be my son I have not seen nor spoken with for
almost 20 years?" As "fate" (God's providence) would have it, I got a phone call
the next day at the athletic dorm and in response to my "Hello", the voice on the other end of the
line said "This is your father"! Talk about a providential moment in time!
You could have picked me up off of the floor! Twenty years, not even a
whisper, not even knowing if he was still alive, and then the first time I hear
his voice to hear the words "This is your father"!
As they say, "I'll
make a long story short" - I went to meet my true father and even to stay with him in
Houston that next summer (to help me save money while I worked a summer
job). But
Wilson was not the same man who had deserted my mom in 1946, but a changed
person. He
had gone to AA and from there had met a devout Baptist lady named Louise who was
fervently in love with Jesus Christ (cp Acts 9:36, Php 1:11-note),
and it was her Jesus Who opened my father's heart (Lk 24:45, Jn 6:44, 65) and
brought him new life in Christ (1Jn 5:11, 12, Col 3:4-note).
And that new life in Christ (see
in Christ
or
in Christ Jesus)
brought with it a new freedom for as our Lord promised...
When the Son sets
you free,
you shall be free indeed (Jn 8:36)
(See word study
set free...shall be free = eleutheroo)
And that's exactly what had happened
to my father - he had been set free from enslavement to alcohol, gambling and
womanizing (Ro 8:2NLT-note)! Amazing
grace indeed. And yet all was not "rosy" for he tried
diligently to coerce me to become a believer, but I would have none of his
Jesus, thinking his fanaticism was nothing but foolishness (1Cor 2:14). I left after that Summer and had only a few contacts with him over
the next 20 years. What I did not know until after I became a believer was that both he and his wife
prayed continuously for my salvation over those 20 years! (1Th 5:17-note,
Col 4:2, 3-note) Beloved, do you
have a dear one who is unsaved, lost and potentially on the way to a
Christless eternity? (2Th
1:9NLT) Then
take heart and persist in pleading prayer for the Spirit of God to sweep in like
a wind (Jn 3:7, 8) and cause them to be born again from above (Jn 3:3). I have little doubt
that my born again father and his sweet devout wife's twenty years of
faithful, persistent prayers for my
salvation played some part in the events that transpired 20 years later
(see below).
4) About 22 years
old - The Second "Chance" Occurrence
-
I was a senior at the University of
Texas at Austin and had been accepted to UT Southwestern Medical School in
Dallas, Texas. I had dated a few girls at UT but basically spent most of
my time "dating" the books to keep my grade point average high. So in
the Spring of 1969, my mind was already contemplating the excitement of the
first year of medical school and I had no desire whatsoever to date a girl seriously much less get married.
Enter the
Father's second providential intervention in my life
(I say "second" but know full well that there were countless other "chance
encounters" orchestrated by my gracious heavenly Father - Pr 16:9,
20:24, Eph 1:11NLT-note,
Ps 37:23-note,
Ps 40:2-note) - Someone set up a blind date to go roller skating (that's
what we did for fun at the University of Texas in 1969! My, how times have
changed!) with a tall, incredibly beautiful UT Junior
named Martha (Marty) Franklin Wilkes.
Something very unusual just happened to happen that night (although it didn't
catch God by surprise!) Marty and I stayed up that night until about 3AM
just talking about life just like college students are prone to do (no significant physical contact was involved) and before the
night was over we decided that we should go through life together. Prior
to this "chance encounter", as I stated above, I had absolutely
no intention of getting married and no desire to take
someone through what I knew would be a grueling four years of medical
school. And yet the
omniscient
God saw (and provided for) my need of a helper suitable (Ge 2:18) and orchestrated a
"blind date" to bring her to me (Ge 2:22)! (Young folks - a
longer courtship is recommended!) About 4 months later, we entered the
covenant of marriage with
only a vague (if any) understanding of Ge 2:23, 24 and also with
very bad timing for our wedding date was only
one week before the first year of medical school began. (My advice to
medical students to be -
Do not get married a week before med school begins!) Little did I know that God would use my wife in a pivotal
way to bring about my salvation (Pr 31:10) and that once again prayer
would play a major role in His redemptive plan for my life.
That first year of
med school was difficult but we weathered the
intense pressure brought on by the incredible competition to be "Number
One". However as they say "it was not pretty" and for the most
part I essentially neglected my
new bride for the next 9 months! And when she decided that a baby might
provide comfort in her marital loneliness (desertion by a husband might be
a more accurate description - my
flesh
is an ugly thing!), we
discovered to our sadness and chagrin that we had significant infertility
issues and the chances of us ever conceiving were nil! We were both
shattered, but Marty was more so, as she was in dire need of interpersonal
relationship and was counting on a new baby to give her a sense of
fulfillment in our marriage. Again, enter God's amazing
grace
to two unsaved, undeserving souls, and before we knew it, miraculously (Ge
18:14) God had given us not just one child (even suffering a hope
deflating miscarriage after the first unlikely conception), but four
healthy children, two boys and two girls (Ps 127:3, 4, 5-note,
Jas 1:17-note)
THE
LORD OPENED MY HEART
TO RESPOND TO HIS WORD
(Acts 16:14)
5) About 39 years
old - Fast forward to (in the
world's eyes) a prospering, successful medical practice, back in Austin,
Texas where I had begun my life journey and met my life partner. And although I had no idea of the
grave danger I was in at the time, the words of Jesus to His disciples (in
the context of the rich young ruler - Mt 19:16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22) have become very precious to me for
they so well describe my precarious human prosperity...
Jesus said to His disciples, "Truly
(Amen) I
say to you, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. "And
again I say to you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a
needle, than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." (When Jesus
says something ONE time it's important! But here not only does He begin
His declaration with the attention grabbing "Amen", He repeats the message
emphasizing the grave danger that is the lot of all those who are rich
with worldly goods and fame!) And when the
disciples heard this, they were very astonished and said, "Then who can be
saved?" And looking upon them Jesus said to them, "With men this is
impossible, but with God all things are possible." (Matthew 19:23,
24, 25, 26)
In the world's
eyes I would have been classified as rich and in my own eyes I was totally
self absorbed, running some 100-120 miles a week in my marathon
preparation. Largely ignoring my wife and my children, I pursued my will
on earth not God's (contrast Jesus Lk 22:42). But by the
grace
of God, He had (providentially) caused me to be born with a less than spherical femoral
head (referring to my hip bone) (Ps 139:13-note,
cp Je 1:5) which predisposed me to premature traumatic arthritis. And so
unaware of this divinely ordained predisposition, I religiously continued
my insane running schedule and like an addict seeking to maintain the
endorphin high to which I had grown
accustomed, but I soon began to experience intractable pain
in my left hip which increased to the point that I would awaken at night
and cry out for relief (although sadly I never thought of crying out to
Jehovah Rapha,
the Lord, the Healer).
Finally, a local orthopedic surgeon virtually dragged me to his office
after hearing my story. When he put the radiographs of my left and right
hip on the view box (and I am not a radiologist but it did not take a
radiologist to interpret the pathology), I literally began to sweat and
felt like I was going to faint, because I saw virtually no cartilage
remaining in my left hip joint (cp Jacob's "hip encounter" with God at
Peniel or
Penuel- Ge 32:24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30,
31, 32 ). I knew instantly this meant an end to long distance running,
basketball, soccer on Sundays (while my wife was at church) and any other
weight bearing sport and I was
devastated. For the first time in my life I had come against a major
obstacle that I could not hurdle with self effort! God was well on His way
to bringing me to the end of myself (Mk 8:35, 36, 37). These life changing
events occurred in September, 1984 and for Christmas
that year my wife (who had begun attending
Women's Bible Study Fellowship and had
been born again by studying the imperishable seed of the living and
enduring Word of God - 1Pe 1:3-note,
1Pe 1:23, 24, 25-note)
gave me an
NIV Study Bible (Isa 55:10, 11) which
prompted me to quip "What's this for? I'm a good person!" (Ro
3:10-note,
Ro 3:12-note).
She sat unfazed by my inaccurate theological "side step", for unbeknownst
to me my Father was clearly working out His plan of redemption through
Marty's chaste and respectful behavior (1Pe 3:1, 2-note)
Now remember that
for 20 years my real (born again) father and his wife had been faithfully
interceding with God to grant me the
repentance that leads to
salvation (Acts 11:18, cp Acts 5:31,
20:20, 21, 26:18, 19, 20). And remember that this is the same father who
started life as a "loser", but ended a winner in Christ (Mt 10:39, 16:26,
Lk 9:24, 17:33, Jn 12:25). Not only were they fervently and continuously
praying for my salvation, but Marty, my wife for 15 years, and her entire
leadership team at Women's Bible Study Fellowship in Austin, Texas were
also praying for my salvation on a weekly basis.
On this backdrop of
20 years of prevailing prayer productive of a pleasing aroma to God (Ps
141:2-note,
Re 8:3-note,
Re 8:4-note),
that following Spring, Dr Ralph Bailey, a well known colo-rectal surgeon
and the Lord's bondservant, began to visit my office at Seton Medical
Center, where I was chief of pathology at the time, and he persisted in
gently, non-aggressively "pestering" me about this Man named Jesus asking
me what was I going to do with Him (
2Ti
2:24, 25, 26-note).
One fateful day, he invited me to
Men's Bible Study Fellowship and I told
him I would go on the condition he never talk to me about Jesus again (it
did not hurt that they were offering free barbeque at this invitational
session!) I went and he kept his word and never asked me again! He didn't
have to, for as I began to read the Word of Truth (Jas 1:18-note),
the
Gospel
of the
grace
of God (Acts 20:24), I encountered the power of God to save (Ro 1:16-note)
and that following Fall semester in the Bible Study Fellowship study of
the "Minor" Prophets of Israel, I received my
Goel (Jn 1:11, 12,
13), my Kinsman Redeemer (Isa 47:4, Job 19:25, Ps 19:14-note),
Messiah the Prince of the Old Testament (Da 9:24-note,
Da 9:25-note,
Da 9:26-note,
Da 9:27-note)!
To my amazement (and joy) I discovered that the Messiah about Whom the Old
Testament was so clearly
prophesied (see
Messianic Prophecies)
was perfectly fulfilled in the New Testament in the Person of Jesus
Christ (cp Jn 1:1 and Jn 1:14, 15, 16), the Messenger of the Covenant
(Malachi 3:1) Who paid the price of redemption (ransom
payment - Mk 10:45, Titus 2:14-note;
cp word studies related to redeem, redemption -apolutrosis;
lutrosis;
exagorazo;
lutroo - see
also
How to do Greek
Word Study)
to set this captive free from enslavement to
Sin,
(Ro 6:11-note,
Ro 6:17-note,
Ro 6:18-note)
Satan (1Jn 5:19NLT, Acts 26:18NLT) and this godless world system (Gal
6:14, 1Jn 2:17). I came to understand the vital importance of the full
gospel
as Paul explained to the Corinthians...
Now I make known to you, brethren, the
gospel
which I preached (euangelizo
- source of English "evangelist") to you, which also you received, in which also you stand,
2 by which also you are
saved, if you hold fast the word (the
gospel) which I preached
to you, unless you
believed
in vain. 3 For I delivered to you as of first
importance what I also received, that Christ died for our sins
according to the Scriptures, 4 and that He was buried, and that
He was raised on the third day according to the Scriptures, 5 and that
He appeared to Cephas, then to the twelve. (1Co 15:1-note,
1Co 15:2-note,
1Co 15:3, 4, 5-note;
and He ascended and will return Acts 1:9, 10, 11, Mt 24:30, Rev 1:7-note)
I immediately
sought out a local Bible church where the Word of God was being preached
(2Ti 4:2-note,
2Ti 4:3, 4-note),
took my family, all 6 of us, and within a short time asked the church
elders to baptize me
(for the third time, but the only one where I understood the symbolism of
water baptism). As my wife likes to say now "the Holy Spirit" moved
into our house that year, one year after my left hip was diagnosed as
severe osteoarthritis (by the grace of God!) And although I was not a perfect believer, the change was
so radical that my two oldest children, Joel and Meredith, soon came to
faith in Christ and the four of us were baptized together (cp the Philippian
Jailer to Paul and Silas - Acts 16:30, 31, cp the Ethiopian eunuch -
Ac 8:26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39). Just before Pastor Rob Harrell
baptized
me under the water, I testified to God's truth regarding the miracle that
I had experienced declaring...
Therefore if any man is in Christ
(see
in Christ),
he is a
new
creature; the old things passed
away; behold, new things have come. (2Cor 5:17)
Shortly
thereafter God placed the following passage on my heart which was important in my
early Christian life and to this day still forms a framework for my walk
in Christ...
Thy words were found and I ate them,
and Thy words became for me a joy and the delight of my heart; for I have
been called by Thy name, O LORD God of hosts. (Jeremiah 15:16)
THE
REFINER'S
FIRE
(Ps 26:2-note,
Ps 139:23-note,
Ps 139:24-note)
6) About 50 years
old - And so for
first 11 years of my new life in Christ I was as they say "on fire" and
zealous for the Lord, witnessing to both Jewish and Gentile doctors at
the hospital, finishing up the
Men's Bible Study Fellowship's 4 year program (it has
a longer curriculum today), becoming actively involved in missions
activities especially directed toward
the world's unreached people groups (having been significantly impacted by
the 15 week course entitled
Perspectives on World Missions [which I
highly recommend] and then in the late 1980's by exposure to the
Global Prayer Digest
which is a guide facilitating daily prayer for the world's unreached
people groups
- I can highly recommend this guide and cannot wait to meet those in
heaven who I have never met face to face [down here] but for whom I have had the
incredible privilege
to pray! See Col 4:2, 3-note,
1Th 2:19, 20-note) and teaching God's Word in home
Bible studies and in church Sunday School classes.
And once again as I
looked back on my life before Christ, I came to understand something of
how God in His providence could use my background in medicine and
pathology to fulfill His call for me to be His workmanship, created in
Christ Jesus for good works which He had prepared for me beforehand that I
should walk in them (Ep 2:10-note).
As a specialist in pathology I
received unique training regarding the importance of making careful,
detailed (microscopic) observations in order to render a correct diagnosis
in diseases which many times were life threatening. Obviously, accuracy
was a parameter that could not be compromised without potentially serious
consequences. As I began to read,
memorize
and
meditate
on God's Word, I came to
realize how my medical training
at the University of Texas Southwestern Medical School in Dallas,
especially regarding minute attention to detail could be applied to
rightly dividing the Word of truth (2Ti 2:15-note).
Specifically, my training in medicine and pathology gave me a clear
understanding of the vital relationship between accurate observation (cp
observation
in study of the Bible), in order to achieve an accurate diagnosis (cp
interpretation
of the Bible)
which could then be used to guide the most effective treatment whether it
was surgery and/or drug therapy (cp appropriate
application
of God's Word). And so it was with this same "life and death" mindset
(even more so considering the eternal ramifications of eternal truth and spiritual life
versus temporal truth and physical life - cp Jesus' words Jn 8:24, 5:24), that I began (and
continue) to approach the handling of God's Word of life (cp Php 2:16-note,
1Jn 1:1). Although, I have not had the privilege of formal seminary
training, I have diligently studied the pure milk of God's Word (1Pe 2:2-note)
for 25 years under the teaching ministry of the Holy Spirit (cp 1Jn 2:20,
27, Jn 14:26, 16:13, 14, 1Co 2:10, 11, 12, 13), and by His grace have
gleaned a working knowledge of the original languages, especially Greek
and less so in Hebrew, and have been given a strong desire to provide a
website which feeds our Lord's sheep solid food (Jn 21:15, 16, 17, He
5:13, 14-note,
see the
Power of God's Word)
and which edifies His saints for the work of making disciples (Ep 4:12-note,
Mt 28:18, 19, 20), to the end that the lost (and saved) might observe the
saints' good works and because of their supernatural works (which point
unequivocally to a Supernatural Source!), they would all be led to glorify
(give a proper opinion of) our Father in heaven (Mt 5:16-note,
cp Php 2:14, 15-note,
Is 43:7).
But not all was
well in "River City" (my affectionate name for my hometown, Austin, Texas), for it was about this time that my wife of 26 years came to me one
evening and "out of the blue" (which shows how out of touch I was with her
needs!) said "I don't love you anymore!" To say that I was
"dazed and confused" would be an understatement. After all, God had given
us four beautiful children. We were active in
a local Bible church. Financially we had no concerns. There was not "another
woman" at the hospital! And yet clearly something was sadly missing in
our marriage! I began to plead with God to change Marty (especially as I
read verses like Pr 21:9, 19, 25:24, 27:15 - it's always the other
person's fault isn't it?), but He began to
show me from His Word that I was the spiritual leader who was not leading and I was the one
who needed to change, not my wife. I fell far short of Paul's charge for
husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church, to love them even
enough to die (cp Jn 12:24) for them. (Ep 5:23-note,
Ep 5:25-note,
Ep 5:28, 29, 30-note,
Col 3:19-note).
I knew intellectually that
agape love
is
that unconditional, sacrificial love that God is (1Jn 4:16), that God
demonstrates (Ro 5:8-note, Jn 3:16, 1Jn 4:9) and that God enables (fruit of the Spirit - Gal
5:22-note,
this fruit being borne as we learn to walk by the Spirit - Gal 5:16-note;
Gal 5:25NIV-note)
but I was not continually (Paul's commands in Ep 5:25, Col 3:19 are both
present imperative
= "Husbands, make
this your habitual practice!" It speaks of general direction, not
perfection! It's a call to continually yield
"my rights" to the Spirit's control - Ep 5:18-note,
where "be filled" = "be controlled by" =
present imperative)
practicing agape toward my wife, Marty.
Unfortunately, after salvation, I had
not been discipled by anyone (cp Timothy by Paul = 2Ti 3:10-note) and
I had a poor understanding at best of the process of progressive sanctification
or growth in holiness and Christ-likeness. And so I failed to recognize
this obstacle (the "deadness" of my wife's feelings toward me) in our marriage as
an "opportunity" allowed by or sent from God's loving hand of discipline that I might
share His holiness and bring forth His peaceful fruit of righteousness
in our marriage (Heb 12:5, 6-note,
He 12:7, 8, 9, 10-note,
He 12:11-note).
Sometimes as believers we can become so involved in the "Martha like doing" of Christian things
(Lk 10:38, 39, 40) that we
forget the most important aspect of Christianity is "Mary like being"...
just sitting still at the Master's feet, listening, obeying, becoming more like the
Master (Lk 10:41, 42! cp Ps 46:10NIV-note) And so God
mercifully and
graciously used this crisis in our marriage to bring me to a point of brokenness
(Mt 12:20, Ps 34:18-note,
Ps 51:17-note) and
repentance (2Co 7:9, 10, Ro 2:4-note). For me this was not the
repentance
of "past tense salvation" (justification), but of "present tense"
salvation (sanctification [cp "being {present
tense =
continually} saved" - 1Co 1:18] - see
Three Tenses of Salvation), the
repentance
which is such an important component in the process our heavenly Refiner uses
to bring us forth as pure gold (1Pe 1:6-note,
1Pe 1:7-note,
cp Job 23:10 with Job 42:5, 6, 19:25) as He conforms us to the image of His Son (Ro 8:28-note,
Ro 8:29-note).
Thus afraid to trust
His grace,
Long time did I rebel;
Till despairing of my case,
Down at His feet I fell.
--William Cowper
It is one
thing to be broken and "emptied" by the Almighty (as Naomi experienced in Ruth 1:20,
21-note), but it
quite another to be revived and restored by Him (Ps 119:25-note).
And so, ignoring Jesus' teaching in (Jn 15:5), although I continued to
plead with God for revival of our marriage, like most men I thought
it wouldn't hurt if I helped God out by trying to "fix" what was broken ("Apart
from Me you can do NOTHING!"). And so I began to attend Christian marriage
conferences (but not with my wife, for she refused to go). By this point
in our Christian life, we really did not believe that divorce was an option, but the
alternative seemed just as miserable - living the rest of our married
lives without
phileo
or
agape love
and thus living a hypocritical charade with the constant fear of having
our lack of authenticity exposed for all to see! I soon became well known at
all 5 local Christian bookstores, as I managed to purchase virtually every Christian
book available on marriage and poured through them just like I had
done before my big exams in medical school (what a picture of my old
fallen flesh
at work trying to fix
things!). I simply could not understand why all this wonderful information
was not "fixing" what was broken (cp Eccl 12:12). Because of pride (cp Jas
4:6, 1Pe 5:5-note,
Pr 3:34NIV), I had been resistant to counseling, but finally agreed that
Christian counseling was our last hope for reconciliation and peace. And
so we began seeing a local, well respected Christian counselor, but there
was still very little improvement in our relationship. Perhaps we became a
little more amicable, but there was no
repentance and no
heart healing.
And then it "just
so happened" (providentially, as when Ruth just happened to
arrive at Boaz's [the kinsman redeemer's] barley field in Ru 2:3-note)
that my wife began to attend a daytime class that was using Precept
Ministries 10 week course on the study of
Covenant (preview lesson 1 - opens in Pdf - I cannot
recommend it too highly as both "preventive maintenance" and repair for
Christian marriages, although is not advertised as a "marriage course"). And,
once again in the amazing providence of God, this
same course on
Covenant
just
happened to be offered during the evening hours at the Baptist church we were
attending at the time, so I began the evening study on
Covenant. I was still praying, but was
beginning to lose hope that our marriage could or would ever be restored. In retrospect, I did not know it
at the time but our marital struggles were very similar to the woes of the rebellious Israelites in their wilderness wandering, the
psalmist recording...
Then
(When? Ps 107:18) they cried
out to the LORD in their trouble (Hebrew =
tsar
- A narrow; tight place and then figuratively distress, trouble, anguish,
confinement to a state of unfavorable circumstances, implying emotional
distress). He saved (Hebrew =
yasha'
= delivered, root of Jesus' OT name
Yeshua [Jehovah is salvation];
Septuagint - Lxx
=
sozo - rescue from great peril, keep
alive, deliver, heal, make whole) them out of their distresses.
He sent His word and healed them, and delivered (Lxx
=
rhuomai = drew or snatched to Himself) them from their
destructions (Lxx
= diaphthora = decay, corruption - a good description of our marriage!). (Ps 107:19-note,
Ps 107:20-note)
And so as Marty and I
began our separate studies on His Word of truth regarding covenant,
Jehovah Rapha: (Jehovah Rophe) The
LORD our Healer began
to apply His truth to our minds like the balm of Gilead (Je 8:22). It only took 2-3
weeks of the 10 week study on Covenant, for God to perform what can only
be described as a miracle (Je 32:17, 18, 19). Marty came to me one
day and to my amazement suggested that we stop seeing the Christian
counselor. When I asked why, she replied that the study of God's
Covenant had given her a new
perspective on our relationship (Ps 30:11, 12-note), our marriage and His ministry in and
through us as a couple (see
Covenant: As It Relates to Marriage).
She went on to relate how God Almighty (El Shaddai) had
given her a desire to come alongside me into whatever
ministry He was calling me. In
short, the Spirit of the Living God resurrected and revived a totally
"dead" marriage using His Word of truth to renew our minds and transform
our thinking (cp Ro 12:2-note,
2Co 3:18-note). And so Marty and I began to lead women's and men's
Precept Bible
Studies
over the next 10 years. More importantly, we experienced the truth of
God's promise in Joel 2:25 (addressed to Israel but applicable to the
revival He brought about in our marriage)...
Then I will make up to (KJV = "restore
to) you for the years that the swarming locust has eaten, the creeping
locust, the stripping locust, and the gnawing locust, My great army which
I sent among you." (Joel 2:25, Joel 2:25KJV)
Dear reader, I
don't know what the locusts are in your life, your marriage, your family,
etc,
but I can testify that God's redeeming and transforming
grace is truly sufficient and that His power
is perfected in our weakness (2Cor 12:9-note,
2Cor 12:10-note).
And though this was a painful time in our relationship, I can look back
and see God's
sovereign handiwork and with genuine
gratitude declare that it was good that I was afflicted/disciplined
(Ps 119:71-note,
Ps 119:67-note,
Job 5:17NIV, Pr 6:23b). Marty and I both came to understand and
experience the reality of Peter's declaration that God's
divine power has granted to us everything (Greek word = all,
everything without exception!) pertaining to life and
godliness, through the
true knowledge
(Observe that while the provision of grace is a divine gift, our part is
to diligently seek the true, intimate [not just "head" but "heart"]
knowledge of our Lord as revealed in His Holy Word -
Beloved, are you daily
[Mt 4:4]
immersing yourself in the cleansing water of His sanctifying Word
[Jn 17:17, cp Ep 5:26b, Jn 13:10],
doing so not out of a sense of duty but out of a sense of delight
[Ps1:2-notes,
Ps1:3-notes,
Je17:7, 8] and loving, grace
enabled, obedience? [2Co
5:14NIV]) of Him Who called us by His own glory and excellence (2Peter
1:3-note).
So no matter what "species" of locusts
is gnawing away at your Christian life, dear brother or sister in Christ, you can know
that the Father's desire is only to remove the
dross, that He might send His Word
which is filled with everything necessary for
life and godliness, and that He might bring you forth as pure gold (Job
23:10-note,
cp Job 42:5 6 12),
more like His Son Jesus Christ. So do not despair, but instead wait upon
the Lord, seeking Him in prayer and trusting in His faithful Word,
acknowledging that the
faithful
God is the only One Who can give you hind's feet to walk on high places
(Hab 3:17, 18, 19). He alone,
can give you the strength you need to live the Christian (Christ) life
(Col 3:4-note).
Yet those who wait (Hebrew =
qavah = wait with eager expectation, hope and confidence; Lxx =
hupomeno [word study]
= remain under not simply with resignation, but with vibrant hope) for the
LORD (Jehovah)
will gain (Hebrew = chalaph = change or renew, Lxx = allasso =
change the nature of something for the better so here exchange our
weakness for His strength!
play and really listen to the words in
Steven Curtis Chapman's His Strength is Perfect)
new strength. They will mount up with wings like eagles. They will run and
not get tired. They will walk and not become weary. (Isaiah 40:31).
And so after 24
years of experiencing His sanctifying, transforming
grace, I am beginning to understand
the liberating truth that it is no longer I who live, but Christ Who lives
in me and the life I now life in this mortal flesh, I live by faith in the
Word of Christ, Who gave Himself up that I might live forever in freedom
from sin, Satan and the world system (cp Galatians 2:20-note). And then He sent
His Spirit that I might have the power to live this new life in Christ
(Gal 5:16-note,
Ep 5:18-note).
And His Spirit illuminated His Word that I might be nourished to live as
more than a conqueror in Christ Jesus my Lord (Ro 8:37KJV-note). And through His
imperishable (1Peter 1:23-note), living and active Word (Hebrews 4:12-note), He has
given me a prayer and a promise as I at age 62 years, begin the last lap
of my race of grace (He 12:1-note).
The first passage is an Old Testament version of 2Timothy 2:2 (note)
calling on Him to give me the power to fulfill His great command to
make disciples (cp Mt 29:18,
19, 20) and in the second passage He gives His promise of fruitfulness in old age...
THE
PRAYER
And even when I am old and gray,
O God,
do not forsake me,
until I declare Thy strength to this generation,
Thy
power to all who are to come (after me).
(Ps 71:18-note)
THE
PROMISE
They will still yield fruit in old age.
They shall be full of sap and very green.
To declare that the LORD is
upright.
He is my Rock, and there is no unrighteousness in Him.
(Ps
92:14-note,
Ps 94:15-note)
And when all is
said and done, the psalmist best summarizes my thoughts regarding
Jehovah's work
of amazing, redeeming, transforming
grace in my life, my marriage,
my (His) ministry...
Not to us, O LORD, not to us,
but to
Thy name give glory
because of Thy lovingkindness,
because of Thy truth.
(Psalm 115:1-note)
And can it be that
I should gain
An interest in the Savior’s blood?
Died He for me, who caused His pain—
For me, who Him to death pursued?
Amazing love! How can it be,
That Thou, my God, shouldst die for me?
Amazing love! How can it be,
That Thou, my God, shouldst die for me?
Long my imprisoned
spirit lay,
Fast bound in sin and nature’s night;
Thine eye diffused a quickening ray—
I woke, the dungeon flamed with light;
My chains fell off, my heart was free,
I rose, went forth, and followed Thee.
My chains fell off, my heart was free,
I rose, went forth, and followed Thee.
No condemnation
now I dread;
Jesus, and all in Him, is mine;
Alive in Him, my living Head,
And clothed in righteousness divine,
Bold I approach th’eternal throne,
And claim the crown, through Christ my own.
Bold I approach th’eternal throne,
And claim the crown, through Christ my own.
Play
And Can It Be That I Should Gain
Charles Wesley
See
also
Statement of Faith - What I Believe.
