AND BE SUBJECT TO ONE ANOTHER: hupotassomenoi (PPPMPN) allelois: (Eph 5:22,24; Ge 16:9; 1Chr 29:24; Ro 13:1, 2, 3, 4, 5; 1Co 16:16; Php 2:3; 1Ti 2:11; 1Ti 3:4; Heb 13:17; 1Pe 2:13; 5:5)

Note: All verbs in bold red indicate commands, not suggestions! Also hold mouse pointer over underlined links for pop up of Scripture which stays open and can be copied.

And - Note that this verse clearly ties the truth about submission to the instructions on being filled with the Spirit. Paul is teaching that if one is filled with the Spirit, he or she will willingly submit themselves to whatever authority God has placed over them. The corollary truth is that genuine submission from the heart is not possible apart from the Spirit’s empowering. Finally, in this verse it is clear that there is to be a mutual submission between believers apart from the line of authority.

Ironside writes that...

The Spirit-filled believer, then, is characterized by these three things, joyfulness, thankfulness, lowliness. May God give to each one of us to be filled with the Spirit.

Be subject to one another - This instruction to maintain an orderly arrangement was based on the fact the foundational truth that these were Spirit filled believers, which Paul goes on to discuss in three groups, husbands and wives (Eph 5:21-33), parents and children (Eph 6:1,2,3, 4), and masters and servants (Eph 6:5, 6, 7, 8, 9). The primary underlying truth in each of these groups is recognition that they are to be subject to one another in the fear of Christ. This submission does not preclude submission of wives to husbands, children to parents, or slaves to masters, as all are necessary to maintain an orderly arrangement in society. A basic principle of submission on every level is not asking whether we can trust the one we are submitting to but  whether we can trust God to work through the leader?

Remember that Paul's charge to the saints in Ephesians 4 was that they should be

"diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace". (See note Ephesians 4:3)

Here in Ephesians 5 Paul's instructions to Spirit filled husbands and wives to be arranged in an orderly manner toward one another would serve to facilitate the preservation of the unity of the body of Christ. By nature, we want to promote ourselves, but the Holy Spirit enables us to submit ourselves.

Lawrence Richards explains that...

Submit (be subject) is a complex concept which needs to be defined by the context in which it is used. Here there is no question of power or of position, as we find in Rom. 13. Here Paul calls for all believers to develop an attitude of submission, a willingness to be responsive and to yield to one another out of love. It is wrong to read hierarchy into this verse or into the passage which follows. Rather, we see the development of a sensitivity to others that frees us from pride and enables us to act at all times in loving, caring ways. (Bible Reader's Companion)

Be subject  (5293) (hupotasso from hupó = under + tasso = arrange in orderly manner) means literally to place under in an orderly fashion. In the active voice hupotasso  means to subject, bring under firm control, subordinate as used in (Ro 8:20-note)

Dr. Barber goes on to explain that

One another is a common NT phrase (especially in Paul's letters) with most uses relating to the building up of the body of Christ. As such the "one anothers" in the NT would make an excellent Sunday School study (or topical sermon series), taking time to meditate on each occurrence, asking whether it is being practiced (in the Spirit-note) in your local church and seeking to excel still more (cp Php 1:9, 10, 11 -notes; 1Th 3:12-note, 1Th 4:1-note, 1Th 4:10-note). Below is a list  of the NT uses of one another (be sure to check the context for the most accurate interpretation).

IN THE FEAR OF CHRIST: en phobo Christou:  (2Chr 19:7; Neh 5:9,15; Pr 24:21; 2Co 7:1-notes; 1Pe 2:17-note)

Fear of Christ - Is really a reverential awe of and respect for His Lordship and Headship. This principle of mutual submission based upon shared reverence for Christ as Lord is one of three evidences of the Spirit-filled life and in context is critical to maintain harmony and order not just in the marriage between husbands and wives but in the family between children and fathers and in the workplace between slave and master.  The theme of mutual submission addressed how these Gentile believers were to deal with authority in the main social institutions. Paul's position was that Spirit filled believers could be in submission to one another even though the prevalent social customs expected submission only of women, children, and slaves. Christianity radically altered the social order of the ancient world, turning it right side up!

The fear of the Lord is a good thing. A right reverence for our Lord will motivate right conduct. Peter speaking to believers emphasizes the vital importance of a healthy fear of God writing...

And if you address as Father the One who impartially judges according to each man's work, conduct (aorist imperative) yourselves in fear during the time of your stay upon earth (See note 1 Peter 1:17)

Ray Stedman has the following thoughts on this verse in his devotional entitled The Cure For Conflict...

In saying this, the apostle is dealing with the basic remedy for all the conflicts in our day. Paul will apply this principle as he discusses the relationship of husbands to wives, which brings in the whole realm of marriage and divorce and the problems that arise there. Then he will take up the matter of children and parents, which brings in the whole issue of juvenile delinquency, causes and what can be done about it. Then he will take up the issue of management and labor. In each case, the remedy is always the same: "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ."

If we have any desire at all to be part of a solution to the issues surrounding us today, we must do so out of an understanding of what God has revealed about the heart of the problem. We must go back to the cause of all human strife. There is no one who has not at some time asked the question, "How can I get the greatest satisfaction out of life? How can I get the maximum expression of my potential? How can I fulfill myself?" It is not wrong to ask these questions because God has put these urges within us, but it is gravely wrong to ask them in this way.

When we ask the questions this way, we are asking as though we were the only person in the world, as though we were responsible for our own self-development. Sooner or later, in my attempts to develop myself and to gain satisfaction, I find myself on a collision course with someone else who is attempting the same thing. I find that my efforts to satisfy myself are continually sabotaged by others who are trying to achieve satisfaction in the same way. I insist on my rights, and others insist on their rights, and so we become obstacles to each other.

But Paul changes the whole pattern for Christians by introducing two radical factors that alter the whole situation. First, the Christian must never forget that in every relationship of life, another person is present: It is not merely a problem of what I want versus what you want. In every relationship, the apostle reminds us, a third Person is present--the Lord Jesus Christ.

That brings us to the second matter. When I am at odds with another person, to see that Christ is there too is to make me aware immediately of what He has taught me. It is only when I forget myself and devote myself to another's fulfillment that I will find my own heart running over with grace and satisfaction. This is one of the fundamental mysteries of life, and it is confirmed to us every day. Those who try desperately to satisfy themselves are the ones who end up hollow inside. Our Lord put it this way: "For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it" (Matthew 16:25).

It becomes, then, a question of priority. You cannot have your rights by insisting upon them. You can have them only when you seek to give others their rights. Do you dare to try this radical principle right where you live?

Father; I thank You for a word that searches me and cuts deep and lays bare and hides nothing. I know that in this sweet surgery of Holy Spirit there is healing, forgiveness, cleansing. and restoration. (Ephesians 5:21 The Cure For Conflict)

WIVES, BE SUBJECT TO YOUR OWN HUSBANDS: Ai gunaikes tois idiois andrasin:  (Eph 5:24; Genesis 3:16; Esther 1:16, 17, 18,20; 1Corinthians 14:34; Colossians 3:18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25; 1Timothy 2:11,12; Titus 2:5; 1Peter 3:1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

The Phillips paraphrase ("You wives must learn to adapt yourselves") is an unfortunate attempt to make this verse more palatable. In Colossians Paul clearly issues this same instruction as a command...

Wives, be subject (present imperative) to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. (See notes Colossians 3:18)

Paul now discusses marriage which he uses as a picture of the church, the mystery of Jews and Gentiles in one Body, the Bride of Christ. The secret of harmony in the home is two Spirit filled believers! Warren Wiersbe adds that...

The unity of the church (see note Ephesians 4:3) and the harmony of the home both depend on the Spirit. It is power from within, not pressure from without, that holds the church and the home together. (Wiersbe, W. W. Wiersbe's Expository Outlines on the New Testament. Wheaton, Ill.: Victor Books

Wives be subject - The verb hupotasso is not present in the Greek text used to translate the NAS (in the NAS words in italics are added by the translators. Hupotasso is present in the Textus Receptus used for the KJV) but is clearly to be assumed when one compares this sentence with the preceding sentence (and Ephesians 5:24) that describes submission.  The spiritual dynamic that operates in a Spirit filled wife is that when she submits to her Lord, she will have no difficulty submitting to her husband. This verse does not say that the wife is inferior in any way to her husband, not does it say that she is to be his slave, for as stated in verse 21, the husband is also to submit to the Lord. It follows that if both Spirit filled spouses are voluntarily submitting to the Lord, their will be a oneness, a unity and a harmony in the marital relationship. As an aside, one can clearly see why a believer is clearly prohibited from marrying a non-believing spouse (2Cor 6:14-18).

Wayne Barber emphasizes what the verb hupotasso does not mean stating...

Sometimes when you see what it does not mean, it helps see what it does mean. For instance, hupotasso does not mean that the wife is commanded to obey her husband as a child would obey his parents or a slave would obey his master.  Many men treat their wives like door mats and they "walk all over them" as if they have no sense or ability and as if they are inferior. That is not what the hupotasso means. As a matter of fact, there is another Greek word that is used in that kind of relationship. It is the word hupakouo (see related noun hupakoe) which is entirely different.

Hupotasso describes two people who are absolutely equal in God’s eyes. There is no inferiority of one to the other. The wife makes a choice to place herself as an equal underneath another equal, her husband, in order that there can be order and function in the family. The whole purpose of it is so that it meets the design that God has ordered... It takes nothing from the dignity of a woman for her to submit, but rather it enhances it. It takes great integrity for a person to do what God says should be done.

Hupotasso It says nothing about their ability.  Maybe the wife is full of personality, full of character, full of all kinds of ability. It is the exact reverse of what you think the model ought to be. God says, "Wives, I don’t care how much intelligence you have. I don’t care how many spiritual gifts you have. I don’t care how much energy you have. I don’t care how much better you look than your husband. Wives, submit to your husbands." "But God, my husband is a bully! God, you don’t want me submitting to my husband, do you?" God said, "That’s right. You submit to your husband."

WOMEN IN THREE CULTURES:
JEWISH, GRECIAN, ROMAN

It is important to understand the cultural context in which Paul (and Peter see below) was calling for wives to submit to their own husbands. In the first century, there were 3 converging cultures, Jewish, Greek and Roman, and in each culture, women had no rights or at most minimal rights.

In the Jewish culture a woman was treated not as a person but as a thing; and was owned by her husband in exactly the same way as he owned his sheep and his goats. She was absolutely her husband’s possession to do with as he willed. On no account could the wife leave the husband, although he could dismiss her at any moment.  The more liberal Rabbis, headed by the Hillel interpreted Deuteronomy 24:1 to say that a man might divorce his wife if she spoiled his dinner by putting too much salt in his food, if she walked in public with her head uncovered, if she talked with men in the streets, if she spoke disrespectfully of her husband’s parents in her husband’s hearing, if she was a brawling woman, if she was troublesome or quarrelsome! For a wife to change her religion while her husband did not was unthinkable. The Jews had a low view of women as evidenced by their morning prayer in which a Jewish man gave thanks that God had not made him “a Gentile, a slave or a woman.” The Jewish woman had no legal rights whatsoever.

In the Greek culture the duty of the woman was "to remain indoors and to be obedient to her husband." It was the sign of a good woman that she must see as little, hear as little and ask as little as possible. She had no kind of independent existence and no kind of mind of her own, and her husband could divorce her almost at caprice, so long as he returned her dowry. It is fascinating to read some of the lofty ideals regarding marriage in the classic Greek literature (stress on monogamous marriage, Plato's promotion of equality in various offices, etc) and yet observe the obvious disconnect of these ideals from the frank reality of a culture that had a popular pun that if a woman runs a house it dies!

William Barclay, whose commentaries often provide a wonderful source for cultural and historical context, adds these notes concerning women in the Greek culture...

Prostitution was an essential part of Greek life. Demosthenes had laid it down as the accepted rule of life:

 “We have courtesans for the sake of pleasure; we have concubines for the sake of daily cohabitation; we have wives for the purpose of having children legitimately and of having a faithful guardian for all our household affairs.”

The woman of the respectable classes in Greece led a completely secluded life. She took no part in public life; she never appeared on the streets alone; she never even appeared at meals or at social occasions; she had her own apartments and none but her husband might enter into them. It was the aim that, as Xenophon had it,

“she might see as little as possible, hear as little as possible and ask as little as possible.”

The Greek respectable woman was brought up in such a way that companionship and fellowship in marriage was impossible. Socrates said:

“Is there anyone to whom you entrust more serious matters than to your wife—and is there anyone to whom you talk less?”

Versus was the imperial colleague of the great Marcus Aurelius. He was blamed by his wife for associating with other women, and his answer was that she must remember that the name of wife was a title of dignity but not of pleasure. The Greek expected his wife to run his home, to care for his legitimate children, but he found his pleasure and his companionship elsewhere.

To make matters worse, there was no legal procedure of divorce in Greece. As someone has put it, divorce was by nothing else than caprice. The one security that the wife had was that her dowry must be returned. Home and family life were near to being extinct and fidelity was completely non-existent. (Barclay, W: The Daily Study Bible Series, Rev. ed. Philadelphia: The Westminster Press)

In the Roman culture, the law provided no rights for a woman. In law she remained forever a child. When she was under her father she was under the Roman law of patria potestas, the father's power, which gave the father the right even of life and death over her; and when she married she passed equally into the power of her husband. She was entirely subject to her husband and completely at his mercy. Cato the Censor, the typical ancient Roman, wrote

"If you were to catch your wife in an act of infidelity, you can kill her with impunity without a trial."

Roman matrons were prohibited from drinking wine, and Egnatius beat his wife to death when he found her doing so. Sulpicius Gallus dismissed his wife because she had once appeared in the streets without a veil. Antistius Vetus divorced his wife because he saw her secretly speaking to a freed woman in public. Publius Sempronius Sophus divorced his wife because once she went to the public games. The whole attitude of ancient civilization was that no woman could dare take any decision for herself.

Barclay adds his insights on the role of women in the Roman culture noting that...

In Rome the matter was still worse; its degeneracy was tragic. For the first five hundred years of the Roman Republic there had been not one single case of divorce. The first recorded divorce was that of Spurius Carvilius Ruga in 234 B. C. But at the time of Paul, Roman family life was wrecked. Seneca writes that women were married to be divorced and divorced to be married. In Rome the Romans did not commonly date their years by numbers; they called them by the names of the consuls; Seneca says that women dated the years by the names of their husbands. Martial tells of a woman who had had ten husbands; Juvenal tells of one who had had eight husbands in five years; Jerome declares it to be true that in Rome there was a woman who was married to her twenty-third husband and she herself was his twenty-first wife. We find a Roman Emperor Augustus demanding that her husband should divorce the lady Livia when she was with child that he might himself marry her. We find even Cicero, in his old age, putting away his wife Terentia that he might marry a young heiress, whose trustee he was, that he might enter into her estate in order to pay his debts.

That is not to say that there was no such thing as fidelity. Suetonius tells of a Roman lady called Mallonia who committed suicide rather than submit to the favours of Tiberius the Emperor. But it is not too much to say that the whole atmosphere was adulterous. The marriage bond was on the way to complete breakdown. (Ibid)

In the context of family relationships, it is notable that the wife is not called to submit not to obey (see word study hupakouo) her husband, as children are to obey their parents and slaves their masters. In other words, a husband is to treat his wife as an equal and not as his servant or as if she were a child.  The husband is not to order the wife about, calling on her to respond to his every wish and command. A wife is not a slave, awaiting commands such as: “Do this! Get that! Fix me that!, etc, etc. That is not what submission means.

Wives...to your own husbands -

Believer's Study Bible notes that...

In Greek "wives" is in the vocative case, yet with the definite article. Used in a general sense, it binds all wives into one class for this assignment. (Criswell, W A. Believer's Study Bible: New King James Version. 1991. Thomas Nelson)

Peter also emphasizes the role of the wife in submission writing that...

In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, 2 as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior. 3 And let not your adornment be merely external-- braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; 4 but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God. (Comment: Peter is not calling for a spineless submission but, as someone has put it, a "voluntary selflessness." It is the submission which is based on the death of pride and the desire to serve. It is the submission not of fear but of perfect love.)

SUBMISSION
BUT NOT
INFERIORITY NOR INEQUALITY

That submission does not imply inferiority is made clear by Paul in First Corinthians...

But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ. (1Cor 11:3)

So even in the Godhead, wherein there is equality, we see that Christ is subordinate to His Father and in the same way wives are subordinate to their husbands. The man is not superior to the woman, as the Father is not superior to Christ, for they are of the same essence. However, as there is divine order in the relative functions of the three persons of the Trinity, so it is fitting for God to ordain a divine order in the functions of the family (husband, wife, children). God established this pattern in the very beginning when Adam was first formed, then Eve, Paul recording that

it was Adam who was first created, and then Eve. (1 Timothy 2:13)

Genesis also emphasizes the spiritual equality of man and woman Moses recording that...

God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. (Genesis 1:27) (Comment: Men and women equally share in the spiritual attributes not shared by animals. The text is very specific in defining this equality, which resides in their spiritual being, for that is what it means to be "in the image of God.")

This spiritual equality is emphasized in the New Testament by Paul who writes...

For you are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus. For all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free man, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus. And if you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham's offspring, heirs according to promise. (Gal 3:26-29) (Comment: Paul is clearly addressing the family of believers and setting forth in this context the spiritual equality of all who are one "in" Christ Jesus.)

Believer's Study Bible writes that...

This equality in personhood and difference in function is beautifully illustrated by the Godhead. Father, Son, and Holy Spirit are all equal (John 10:30; 14:9), and yet in function the Son submits to the Father (John 5:19, 20; 6:38; 8:28, 29, 54; 1 Cor. 15:28; Phil. 2:5-11), and the Holy Spirit is sent by the Father to testify of and glorify the Son (John 14:26; 15:26; 16:13, 14). Thus, the divinely defined relationship between husband and wife is analogous to the relationship within the Godhead, and the relationship within the Godhead is a pattern of instruction for the family unit. (Criswell, W A. Believer's Study Bible: New King James Version. 1991. Thomas Nelson)

Morris adds that equality in personhood and distinction in function...

is not an invention of the supposedly anti-feminist apostle, as some have alleged but the stipulation of God Himself, even before the entrance of sin and the curse into the world. This in no way means that man is superior to woman in God's sight, for both were created "in the image of God" (Genesis 1:27), and both are "one in Christ Jesus" (Galatians 3:28). Each, however, was created for a distinctive role and purpose, and neither is truly fulfilled apart from that. (Morris, Henry: Defenders Study Bible. World Publishing)

Warren Wiersbe has a pithy statement regarding Christian homes writing that...

The poet William Cowper called the home “the only bliss of Paradise that hast surviv’d the Fall,” but too many homes are an outpost of hell instead of a parcel of paradise. (Wiersbe, W: Bible Exposition Commentary. 1989. Victor)

Wives (1135) refers to all believing wives

Own (2398)

Husbands (435)

AS TO THE LORD: os to kurio:  (Eph 6:5; Colossians 3:22,23)

As to the Lord - A wife's submission to Christ her Lord should motivate this Spirit filled wife to acquiesce to the headship of her husband.  Family members who are right with the Lord will be right with each other.

This clause also protects the wife so that her submission "as to the Lord" is within the bounds of what is in the will of the Lord.

Wayne Barber comments on the phrase as to the Lord...

Now what in the world would make a woman who is equal, probably more gifted, probably more educated than her husband, put herself under submission to him? Well, look at the verse: "Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord." I have had people ask me, "You mean to tell me I am to treat my husband as I treat the Lord? Is that what he is saying there?" No, he is not saying that. A lot of husbands want to be treated that way, but that is not what he is saying. Paul is saying,

"You do this as an act of love to the Lord."

What should motivate you to do this? The verse is saying the thing that ought to motivate you is because the Spirit of God controls your life and the Spirit of God has revealed to you what the Scriptures say. In order for the Lord to make your family a functional family, you are willing to obey what He says. It’s not because you love your husband that much, but it is because you love Jesus that much. That is key. As I love the Lord Jesus, I am willing to do whatever it is He tells me to do. A wife’s love for Christ motivates her to obey.